An Answer

I'm struggling for almost a week, about the choices that i must pick. I pray and pray and pray,seeking for answer. I asked my close friends, which should i choose, but then, in the end, everything must be decided by me. It's my life and it is not theirs. That's why it brought a great distress to me. you know, if I pick the wrong choice, there is no coming back. Yep. *sigh. Thankfully, today, i have found the answer and I pray a lot for this one. I just want God to guide me and hope everything will be alright. I surrender all to HIM. :)

anyways, just received the schedule for additional lesson at school and it kinda kills me. Oh my gosh.. start from february 7th to April, i'm going to go to school from morning to evening ! X(. Shiok ! initially, i want to start my harp lesson and drawing lesson, but due to this schedule, i canceled it all ! aiyo... =.='
hope that i can pass the national exam by joining this... amen2.. :)


Yosh, still waiting for the news from the BIOLA :D wishmeluck!\


Blessings,
NANA

puppies

These are some pictures of dogs that i really want :DD

1. Daschund long hair

 I found this dog while i was visiting one mall in Japan that allowed the owner to bring their pets, and the petshop was sooo sooo sooo HUGE. There is a small clinic, saloon, and place to adopt or buy dog. Oh my. Wish there is one in Medan. I really like this dog. When i saw her, i fall in love with her. sadly, i can't take her home. :'(

2. Sheltie

Beautiful, isn't it? Saw one in Medan last year, but didn't buy it. :(. Hopefully daddy allows me! :DD

FYI, this is not lassie. maybe it looks similar, but lassie's type is rough collie and not sheltie.

3. Samoyed

and the last oneeeee, eng ing eng! *nosebleeding. She is so kawaiiiiiii... >.<. I think "snow princess" suite her perfectly. But this dog kinda rare, need to buy at Jakarta. *sigh. 

Hope that one of my wishes come true. :D

Blessings,

NANA

Struggle

Crying again... 

Sometimes i hate myself for keep thinking about those things that will never come back

 i feel much better now, the lump is gone... :)

I realize that it is so hard to change myself, to become different, and to reflect the image oF Jesus in my life. 

but, God will never give us problems that go beyond our strength, right?

Blessings,

NANA

Rainbow

If you looked (inside) a girl,

you would see how much she really cries, 

you would find so many secrets and lots of lies,

but what you'll see 

the most 

is

how hard it is to stay strong

when nothing is right 

and everything is wrong...

Got a bad day today, don't know why I was being so moody. 
I just don't know what to do anymore. :')

My heart ache so much, that i think i can't do this.

Do you know how difficult it is to pretend? acting like everything is okay? (:(
It is so hard to move on..

people can said " MOVE ON!"

but honestly, it is not as easy as it is told...

IsmiledIlaughedIcried.

but, i believe, i can get through this because God promise me, He will guide me and be beside me. one day, he will show me a rainbow, after the rain. maybe i can't see it now, but i will... 

with love,

Nana

Heart vs Mind

Cannot touch
Cannot hold
Cannot be together

Cannot love
Cannot kiss
Cannot have each other

Must be strong,
And we must let go
Cannot say
What our hearts must know
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Cannot dream
Cannot share
Sweet and tender moments

Cannot feel
How we feel
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave,
And we must go on
Must not say,
What we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How can I not love you..
When you are you gone.....

*just received a reply from BIOLA today.. mine are still being reviewed. Hope for the best! :)
 他像往常一樣說謊，它是如此他...
 我喜歡你的謊言，這讓我微笑 :)

Blessings,

NANA 

Anxiety

Being anxious is not good, i know. but, I'm still waiting for the news. I can't concentrate at everything. What i do everyday are checking my mail, opening the mailbox, contacting the admission and counsellor to ask why i haven't received any letter. Sigh.. it is like there is a big burden on my shoulder. My heart always pound, afraid that i won't be accepted at that school. I wonder when can i receive the news? I know I should have faith, and surrender everything to God, but I need to prepare. I don't have plan B or plan C. I just applied only for BIOLA because it is my dream school and i won't get something from there in another school. I hope everything will be alright. All i can do is surrender everything, calm myself, and keep praying.


Wish me luck guys!

Blessings,
Nata

Everything to Me

listened to this song. typically me...

I grew up in Sunday school, I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out, and I can tell you all about the path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me, and I don't know what to say
But I'll never be the same because He changed my life when He became...

Everything to me 

He's more than a story 

More than words on a page of history
He is the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for 

And the ground beneath my feet
Oh He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I'm aware of just how fragile life can be
I wanna tell the world I've found, a love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm prayin'  just to give my heart away

I wanna live for Jesus, so that someone else might see that He is...
 

Everything to me 

He's more than a story 

More than words on a page of history
He is the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for 

 And the ground beneath my feet
Oh He's everything, everything to me

And lookin' back over my life at the end, (I'll go to meet You) I'll go to meet You, sayin You've been..

Everything to me
More than a story
More than words on a page of history

Everything to me 

He's more than a story 

More than words on a page of history
He is the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for 

And the ground beneath my feet

You're everything

Lord You're everything to me, Jesus

Everything, You're the water I thirst for
You're everything to me, Jesus, oh
Everything, You're the water I thirst for
The air I breathe, the song I sing, oh
Everything to me, everything to me
You're my life, my love, everything

Happy Monday yall! :)

Blessings,

NANA

Living Against the Stream

Happy Sunday all ! how's your day? :)

So, yesterday i attended the seminary from 13.30 til 21.30. A very long time but I got a lot of things here. haha. Interesting, wonderful, and satisfying ! =p.
Btw, i checked my application status but there was no result. they still haven't informed me. Supposed to be jan 15, and it was yesterday. However, no news at all until today. I just found out that maybe it was Saturday and Monday will be a international holiday for US. Therefore, i think i should check it on Wednesday. I'm so nervous you know?! =.="

Tracy preached at the youth service this morning. What she had preached, ummm.. made me realize about one thing. I always thought of being fashionable, wanted to buy branded bag, wore nice cloth, and also trying to exist among my friends. that's why, i want to be the same with them and as the result, I focused at there and forget Jesus as my priority of my life. Don't forget about the exam, i cheated also to get a good result although it is absolutely wrong. but slowly, now i realize "it is not the right thing to do". I should have been a good example for them but i'm not! Shame on me. :(. I must be different and be unique. Be MYSELF! Don't flow with the stream, I must go against the stream ! I think Tracy is like that too. She left all including fame and wealth. I mean, why she wanna do that? everybody goes for that. But, she realize, those can't bring happiness. She saw many people, they got those but never happy. So, she is living against the stream, against everything people want and expect. So, can you live against the stream? i challenge you! ;)

I ate a lot today, since Tracy arrived here for the first time, we must introduce a lot of food today. I had soto for b'fast, durian pancake, =p, chicken rice for lunch, and kuetiau for dinner. okay, honestly, i broke my record for having too many good food in a day. i repent. lol.


question of the day :
Where do you go after you die? What will you bring then? Fame? Wealth? People you love?

Blessings,
Nana

Hope

How's your day? :). Hard day for me actually, but still, I want to be grateful, you know. many people have suffered more than me. So, mr.edy announces my class rank today and I'm quite disappointed. I am ashamed of myself, for degrading. I know ranks are not important, but still my grade is declining. I'm so mad at myself. :'(. I regret everything. For wasting my time, not using it wiser. I should study better. All I can do now is study diligently and i hope my grade can improve.

2 session today from the RZIM seminar. I can only attend one of them, so i choose evangelism on chinese culture. Yesterday preaching was quite satisfying and everything that has been told was very reasonable and easy to understand. Hope that i will receive more today. :)

Read this book today :

I have a hobby to read books about dating, marriage, and everything about love. I just interested in it and this book is one of them. I hope i will not the same mistake again in the future after reading this book. :)



Hope tomorrow i can receive good news. 

and I Hope that you can forgive me... 


Blessings,
Nana

RZIM ( Ravi Zacharias International Ministry)

Attend this seminar today and i am really excited about what will be discussed in it. APOLOGETICS.
Well, it is not apologize or whatsoever, but I think it is a new teaching about how to answer our faith. I'm not to clear about this so, I need to attend. Taraaa... The seminar is for 3 days! Hopefully, satisfying :).

Blessings,
Nana

Fireproof

I had nothing to do today, so I decided to watch this movie..

 

So, let me share some things i got from this movie..

What if someone you love keep rejecting you? although you have done a lot of things to save your relationships? What if you have done everything including the things that you dont want to do to show that you still love your partner?

Caleb: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, changed the oil, do the dishes, washed the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude, but she doesn't. In fact, when I come home, she makes me feel like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, dad! That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks I have bent over backwards for her! I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, dad! I am not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?  

John: [John Holt strokes the wooden cross, and turns to Caleb] That's a good question. 

Caleb :Dad, that is not what I'm doing.  

John : Is it? 

Caleb: No. Dad, that is not what this is about.  

John : Son, you just asked me: how can someone show love over and over again when they're constantly rejected? Caleb, the answer is: you can't love her, because you can't give her what you don't have. I couldn't truly love your mother until I understood what love truly was. It's not because I get some reward out of it. I've now made a decision to love your mother whether she deserves it or not. Son, God loves you, even though you don't deserve it. Even though you've rejected Him. Spat in His face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sin, because He loves you. The cross was offensive to me, until I came to it. But when I did, Jesus Christ changed my life. That's when I truly began to love your mom. Son, I can't settle this for you. This is between you and the Lord. But I love you too much not to tell you the truth. Can't you see that you need Him? Can't you see that you need His forgiveness? 

And now i realize what love is. God loves us so much that He wanted to die at the cross although we dont want to accept Him. That is love! I hope you guys can watch this film too. I bet you wont regret it!

my favorite quote from the movie :

The sad part about it is, when most people promise for better or for worse, they really only mean for the better.

Blessings,

Nana

Everything is beautiful in His time

My school is really great today. My teacher didn't come for 2 periods and yap... we really had fun at that time. On the first period, we had quiz as usual. How come they love quiz so much? Lol. So, we laughed a lot because some of them made jokes by answering the question with the foolish answer. =p. when the teacher asked us to translate the mandarin into indonesian, she said "wo bu ji". the entire class laughed because she is a native and can't speak mandarin. It seems weird when she said it without the right intonation. XD

Something ruined my day a little bit, but i don't want to keep thinking about it. Move on!

In 2 days, i have heard about this verses. Psalm 23. Ya, i know it sounds familiar. This verse strengthen me and gives me faith. As you know, i have been very worldly these days. I forgot about God and thought of myself recently. I was drawn to the things that are not eternal. My daily bread was messed up and I think God is very disappointed with me. I totally didn't make Him my priority of my life. As a result, i didn't feel any happiness. My life was so dull and meaningless. I worried a lot and scared about a lot of things. my life was pretty messed up now. however, this morning, at the service i heard this verse again after last Sunday.

 ¹The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
 ²He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
 ³He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
 ⁴Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
 ⁵Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
 ⁶Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

I know i was wrong, but I'm sure He will forgive me. I will try to recover my daily bread and get closer to Him because I know He loves me so much and wanted to die for me. I can't repay him though, but I will try the best.

 Maybe it's hard to see it now, all you can feel it sorrow and pain, but i believe, everything will be beautiful in His time.

Blessings, 
Nana 

First day of school

Yahooooooo.... hai guys! update my blog again today- as long as i have the time to write- Lol.

Anyways, how's your school day? I really have a great day today. although the flag ceremony ruined my day a little bit, I was still extraordinary happy! :DD.
I met loui ceci step ken and all the scherzonians. Miss them damn much! *smooch.. haha.. XD. So, i gave them some souvenirs, the caramel candies i bought from disneyland.
and the most important of all, I met MS.ERNI ! when she entered the class, i started my old habit again. i shouted," bu erniiiiii ! i missed you! miss me?;)" at her again.  As usual, i don't feel embarrassed at all caused at her lesson, you can do anything before she teach. i loved to see her new fringe. so funny, so "erni". hihihi. I heard that she just came back from vietnam. of course, i asked oleh2 from her. well, that's is the beginning of my school day in 2011. The nightmares will come out soon! phew...

I had great chat with anit and loui just now. Those two are funny and they love to bully me. :'(. haha. but they are still my besties. love them. *muach.. nick name for them today - loui : louisialan =p  for anita : anitaliar anitagagak anita gagah perkasa... anit also loved to say kacheng kacheng (butt) today.. XD.  Called them siapos. LOL.

okay. i finished my 2 essays and 2 translations today. HOHOhOHOHO. i can smile xixixixxi and hahaha now. at least for a while. Smiling is good for health, you know that? keep smiling guys! :DD show me your teeth ! *ieeeee..... ( dont forget to brush your teeth )

my new music box (doll actually )... wind it a lot today...

cheers.
NANA

大家新年快乐 !

Akemashite omedetō, min'na ! haha.. It's new year! can't believe that it is 2011 now.

Ah! First thing first. Gomene. Sorry for not updating my blog for almost 2 months. Lol. Many things happened in November till December. I was very busy and tired yet happy. I will list the events about what happened in those months.
1. Got a remedial in Biology. I'm so embarassed. =.='. luckily, it was not only me. buahahhaaaa.. almost half of my class got it. =p

2. Finished my Biola application! I'm so excited now and i am waiting to accept the letter of admittance. Hope i will be admitted there. *praypraypray

3. Got a role as Maria in the musical play at my church. Wheeeeee... um. actually, i'm not good at acting and it's a little bit awkward to be a pregnant lady.. Zzz. practice a lot with Ernest who took a role as Josef about how to be more romantic. Gahhhh.... Difficult. =.=. but, finally, the play turned out to be very successful! Praise the LORD! :)

4. Our class logo's inaguration! hohoh. SCHERZO! We are one and always fun. Tiring but fun and memorable day. Love our class costume. thanks to Anitot! =p

5. Anita went back to Medan! buahahhaaaa. fetched her and brought her to school to help our class decoration. buahhahaaa.. i dont care she is tired or not as long as she is able to walk. =p.  although she is only a week here, but it's enough. lol. she will be back again in one month. wont miss you, nit! buahahhaa... XD

6. Spending my last week of december in JAPAN! yayyyyyy.... Great trip with my family especially that my big bro joined us. HAPPY FAMILY. lol. The tour leader is very outstanding also. his name is KIT. knowledgeable and funny. hohoho. So, i'm so satisfied with this year trip although it is tiring. Eat a lot of sashimi. :D. Prawn, tuna, salmon, scallop, sea urchin, heaveN !! hahaha. everything is raw. oh, and also squid. about that, i dont eat it because it's too fresh.. and .. =.=.... you know it la... haha.. will upload some at fb after i get the file from bro. Lol

nah, that were the great moments i have in those months. :DDD Cheerssss...
anyway, school started yesterday, but i skipped it. ha! =p.
back to school on monday! FLAG CEREMONYYYYY!!! arghhhhh... loathe it. but , im excited to meet all my friends....!

MISS ME?!?!?!!?
ahahaha...
kidding...
see you guys! ;)

Sayonara,
NANA