Moving out? still a question :p

Well, i found another thing to play withhh...
yeah.. it's TUMBLR
well, i made the account last year but i didn't touch it until yesterday yesterday and yesterday..
I found out thatttt... it's AWESOME. okay.. not awesome but great enough.. so check it out ;).
oh, fyi, im not going to leave my blog ..


www.dolcecantabile.com


blessings,
NANA 

Lost and No Clue

My last school exam ended today and I supposed to be very happy and grateful, but no, i wasn't. At first, i was overjoyed and relieved, but after that, when night came, that feeling came again. What i fear, finally happened. and back to that time again, i feel so awry. I hate myself. Well, i shouldn't, but actually, it is definitely not me. I want the old me back.
Life is hard for me now. I don't know how to handle it. I even think that i should take "how to socialize" class. Sigh. everything is wrong, so wrong, wrong wrong wrong. =(

Maybe people like me should be alone...



Blessings,
Nana

Natazilla

SOoooooooo, hi guys... here i am, blogging again (supposed to study that bloody physicks but i don't wanna touch it) Teehee.

Suffering for almost a week. Can't sleep cause i studied until it passed my sleeping time = 12 o'clock. i slept at 1 everyday and after i went to my comfy bed, i kept awake until 2 o'clock *ithink which means i had insomnia and I HATE it! =.=". moreover, i had this weird dream almost everyday, but thank God it's not a nightmare. ;).  worse is, i need to get up at 7 ( sleeping hours = 5) .Maybe, if i have this type of life everyday, i'm going insane. i wonder if my life at college will be like this, maybe worse? hm... hope not. Fyi, my face looks like a granny now because of the lack of sleep and i'm gaining weight....  T.T ( going to make a plan after exam ).

wish me luck for the last exammmm !!! hope for the best! yeeeeeeeeeee......

 

 :)

Blessings,

Nana

Pray for Japan

 

Tsunami hit Japan on 11 March 2010

.....

 cause some explosion at some industries and triggers nuclear plant fire.

helping the old...

  

 After exams, we talked about Japan today and my heart was so sad so sad that i can't say any words. The earthquake and the tsunami that hit Japan few days ago affected Japan so much and what is worst that they need to solve the nuclear problem. As you know, Japan had nuclear power plants, and unfortunately, the machine that is used to freeze the nuclear broke and Japan is trying to prevent it from melting. It will be very dangerous if  it melts down because the radiation will spread about 30 km and people will by affected the radiation. Terrifying huh? :(

So,

will you?

blessings,

NANA

My nightmare

Oh, yes... Exams start today and i'm like a zombie already... Sleep late at night and wake up early.. Ohhhh... i feel so horrible.. X(.
Anyway, today's subjects are math and religion.. Thank God, i can do it just fine. at least i can pass the exam and try to score a higher mark so it can boost up my mark for the national exam. Dong dong dong....
So, wish me luck for this week's exams and hope i can pass it all.. Amen..





Ciao!
off for a week maybe?? 
Teehee...



Blessings,
Nana

Wait

My mood today : ANGRY
What i feel right now? SAD, EMPTY, HATRED, REGRET, STRESSED, everything is WRONG
Yes, i feel so empty today. My mind is full of unnecessary thing right now and i'm so sososo terribly mad with him. I know i should not mind about this, but what can i say? it keeps bugging me. Why why and why one earth they gave me these pains? it hurts you know?!?! i hate it. although i know that it's only kind of revenge, but i still hate it.I have a thought of doing the same thing too, but no. I don't play with it. and from now on, i won't care. i will shut my ears, close my eyes, and do nothing. that's it. I'm done!

phew.. =.="

so, lemme share about one thing today, and it kinda made my mood better and i am quite relieved to read this. It strengthened me a lot. :)

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Quite touching, and this, came today, at the time when i was very mad, very sad, and desperate. I felt like He talked to me through this poem and i was really glad to receive it... so, hope this can be a blessing to y'all ..

Blessings,

NANA

The Last

Wuoh... Tomorrow is my last semester exam and it it the most hated subject in the school. Yes, that's PHYSICS. Study from 5 until err... what time is it? midnight.. well, maybe after this i will continue to study. I want to sleep though, but I really need to prepare well cause i didn't score well in monthly exam. Pathetic, huh? My friend told me to sleep earlier because my eyes looked like panda, very very black... 0.o. but what can i do?  sacrifice must be made... T^T. I hope after i finish all the exam, my eyes will recover and then i will look younger. teeheeee...




wish me luck;)


Blessings,
Nana

A note from my brother...

This is one of my brother's writings and i believe this can be a blessing to you all and i want to share it with you... :) 

Spiritual - A Journey looking for God's Heart by Christopher Angkasa

 Spiritualism is one of the areas that we, as youth, often neglect. I don’t know about majority of you, but I personally have been struggling with the question of spiritualism since your age. And not just intellectual struggle, but also practical issue on how a Christian should act in the relationship between him and God.

Before we go further, let us get into the same ground and find out what do we mean by spirituality. When we look into a word, sometimes it is hard to communicate because that particular word actually means differently for each person. It is quite hard to define it, but for some reason, you know it when you see one.

I am sure a lot of my brothers and sisters here have this kind of feeling. You have received Christ as your savior and you pray to God that you want to know Him more, you want to become a man after God’s own heart. Nevertheless, day after day, you pray, week after week, and there are something call spiritual desert, you are walking through unending valley. It seems that you never get the level of spirituality that you long for.

Before getting deeper, I want to give you statement, that you need to keep in mind throughout my talk.

“Christianity cannot be reduced to formula and method. Every person’s journey is unique where it becomes part of dynamic relationship with God in history”

The Role Model

Let us look into the bible, and I want to look into some people’s life that deemed to have a great spirituality, where God seems to put them in a special light. I think our generation now, is a generation which lacked role model. Our role model is limited to David Beckham and Lady Gaga, which is not spiritual in a sense. It is important to have correct role models, for our life is partly shaped by who our role model is.

Let  us open Genesis 5:21-24. Enoch lived 365 Years and all the bible tells us about this man is only, who his son is (who will become the oldest man in the bible, and just for the information sake), that he had sons and daughters and look at the end. He walked with God, and he was not, for God took him. This is how the bible recorded one of two people in the Old testament that did not experience death. Nothing else matters.

Another man’s life, is recorded in Act 13:36, look at how the bible summed up his life. Isn’t it amazing? David, served his own generation by the will of God, and die, and was buried. David in all his weaknesses, shortcomings, sins and his grieves was called a man after God’s heart. Just stop a moment, and think how the bible recorded about these two men.

A lot of you are still young. And you will not think much about death. But let us imagine ourselves when we die. How do you want people to remember you? You know, in your gravestone, they usually put a sentence there to sum up a person life. What do you want people to remember you for? Do you want people to remember you that you build the tallest building in the world? Someone else will beat you. Or maybe you are once the richest man on earth? You can’t take that money, after all throughout time, it will be gone. Or maybe the most famous artist in the world? You will get forgotten. Or do you want to be remembered, as someone who keep searching for God’s will and live according to His word?

We often tend to regard Jesus as a superhero who come to this world and live a life of human. We see Jesus as a Deity first and mere human last. We often forget that Jesus is fully human. When disciples of Jesus look at Him, they have different picture with what we are seeing now. They are looking at Him as a human first, and slowly, steadily, through incidents and miracles, they start to conclude that Jesus is not just human. He is more than an ordinary human.

Then what is the implication? It means that taking a glimpse of what Jesus do to be spiritual will help us also in our journey. Jesus, as a human, did have limitation (albeit self-imposed). In the bible, even Jesus have to make effort to keep Him close to God. Although He was member of trinity, he still had to do mundane thing that we have to do. For example, he has certain sense that He needed to be in His Father’s house, He woke up early to pray and throughout his life, we saw the ultimate example how a human should keep close to God.

We also see many spiritual people that live before us. We can learn a lot from them. For example… livingstone, AB Simpson, St Augustine, CS Lewis… I really recommend you all to read about these people. Please, do spend some time studying about their lives.
Looking at these people's will tremendously inspire us in our own spiritual journey.

Spirituality – a gift

When we talk about spirituality, it is a sign of someone being controlled by Holy Spirit, therefore having a good relationship with God. This, however, is not something that is resulted from self-effort, but it is a gift, a grace that God has given.

However, we cannot say that therefore, spirituality is not something that we can control and stop making effort. Spirituality involves a choice that we have to make in order to know and grow in our relationship with God. It is a daily conscious effort to submit ourselves to the will of the Spirit. That means, we have to make choice to keep our communication with God.

For example, let say you get yourself a piece of mango seed. You carefully take it home, and you imagine in your head that you are eating those juicy fruits. You pray to God to give growth to this seed, after all He is the only one who can give life. But will this little mango seed grow, if you do not carefully plant it in soil? Will it grow if you do not water it daily and give it fertilizer?

That is why, Jesus said in ….. “who ever have ear listen”. We have to look for it. Have you wonder why Jesus spoke in parables? He could have easily taught straight forwardly and let his disciples and his followers understood it easier. But in …… he said…. The truth will only be revealed to those who are seeking it earnestly. That is why, for you who have not yet start searching, search now. That is where the growth starts.

And you know what, the irony is, once you look for it, you will be never finished in this world. A person who thinks who has found it, has yet to find. A person who thinks that he is spiritual, is not. Just like a person who thinks he is humble, he is not. That is why it is life-long process. In the bible, when a person is holy, do not realize that he is. When Moses came down from the mountain, his face is shining, but he do not notice it, others do. Spirituality can only be measured by others, not yourself.

The role of loneliness.

I am afraid that this is a hard truth that we have to accept. For some of us, loneliness is a dreadful thing. I remember that during my study abroad, I am stripped away from the fellowship. That is why I always stressed out the importance of appreciating your fellowship, whether it is here or in other places. Fellowship is something that God gives to you, to give you a chance to grow. Unfortunately, I found out that in many case that my faith and spirituality go deeper when shaped by loneliness. It is a process that we need to get used to.

Oswald Chambers said that it is when we are alone in walking through suffering, heart break, temptation, disappointment, sickness, broken friendship that He begins to teach us. Many of us would think that these things are unnecessary, but if there are people who might think that way are the twelve disciples of Jesus. They are closer to Jesus on earth than anyone else, they are taught and given chance to ask question, but it was only when Jesus left the earth, and Holy spirit came that they experience the kind of spirituality like never before.

The Role Atonement/Repentance

The ultimate problem of why it is so hard for us to connect with God, can be summed up in one word. SIN. Sin is the one cause that separates us from our Creator. We have already lost the image of God, we have defied His command, rebel against His will, and somewhere in the middle, we are dead.

One needs to realize that every day is a battle, and we need to repent. Even after we are taken into salvation, we are still battling it, because day by day, we are still living in a sinful world.

Without daily repentance, it will be hard for us to connect to God. Sin causes us to be ashamed and run from God. Daily repentance is crucial in order to keep us constantly close to Him. Be wary thou, that once a person decides to delay his repentance, your relationship with God will not become stagnant, it will deteriorate. The longer you wait, the less you will be able to hear His voice.

Closing

Now, the question is, are you ready to embark this wonderful journey with God? You are all preparing to enter one of the most crucial phase in your life. Do not waste your life doing futile thing, focus your mind, heart and soul in living out your life's purpose.

Live life to its fullest
You only live once
There is no second chance

Seek your Creator
While you are young
And you will live a life
Worthy of living


Blessings,
NANA

Hottie Saturday

Gahhhh.... what a day! the sun smiled widely today and i'm like the victim of his hotness. sweating like um what?? my shirt is completely wet! Zzz...
Today is a national holiday. So, i went to the beach with the youth fellowship. Teehee. it was fun and exciting since i has been a long time for me visiting the beach. I thought the beach will be very dirty ( well, it's indonesia ) but it was wrong. It was very clean and wonderful although not as beautiful as the ones in Redang or Phuket. :D. We arrived there at 9 and left at 1. Very grateful that we went earlier so that we can enjoy the wind not the scorching heat.

=D

 

the water is still shallow, so i came down and played a lil bit without having my shirt wet. =p

 Nah, these are us. My last refreshing with them. =)

chitra found this... it is a sea urchin... Spiky sea urchin... step on it and you are in a big trouble. =p

Having lunch @waroeng nenek.. 好吃 !

That's all for today! :)

Blessings

NANA

Overflowed with JOY

Got a GOOD news today! Are you readyyyyy??? XD
I G-O-T  ADMITTED TO BIOLA !!!!
I'm so glad that finally i can receive the acceptance letter today. I'm so relieved and i wanted to THANK GOD so much.... HE is so GOOD. I can't thank Him enough.... He is too generous. Finally, i can let go my anxiety now. I don't need to worry anymore. one thing i should worry now is my national exam. I need to study hard for this, and the exams are gonna be very tough especially physics. anyway hope i can pass the exammm...
Oh my gosh, i'm so happy today! kyaaaaaaa kyaaaaaa kyaaaaaaaa... (sorry for being overacted ) =p





Blessings,
NANA

Crush into Pieces

Well, today is quite a hard day for me... Though it was over, i won't forget it. I absolutely going to remember this for the rest of my life. Ya, you really broke my heart and the pain is still here, until now. I am not overacting but yeah, you are unreasonable. I tried to calm down the situation, but instead i'm scolded... pathetic, isn't it?

I thought the pain will go away ASAP, but no... it will stay forever , here, in my heart....

I H-A-T-E being misunderstood

I H-A-T-E being scolded for the wrong reason

I H-A-T-E the fact that you hurt me

i H-A-T-E your attitude

I H-A-T-E you, being so rude to me

I just can't stand anymore... this is the climax.. you have been doing this for how many times? I really can't do this anymore, letting you hurt my heart for lot of times and pretending to be okay. you are just... just... cruel.. saying things without any reason and not trying to understand me..

 decided to end it today.. BYE

I really want to say that i'm so happy for the fact that i'm going to leave this school SOON. Sick of some teachers, the class, everything. moreover, start from now on, i will zip my mouth and will not say anything anymore since i am not appreciated, being misunderstood, and many more. so, it's better to keep my mouth shut.
Will be dealing with this pain, anger and hatred anyways.... hope it will gone soon because it's not good..

:)

Blessings,
NANA