改變

this lonely saturday night .. i spent my time thinking all about this..
It is all my fault. i just realized it and it's too late now.
I fell in love with the people i should not fall with.
I hurt the people i love ( even though i didn't intend to )
I ignored the ones who care for me
I complained too much (and now i want to zip my mouth)
I didn't do things that should have been done
I wasted all the chances that have been given to me
Regret? Useless...
I believe this is the most devastated time for me, felt like having no friends, all alone, struggling for these.
but, thanks God...
I finally realized everything now...
i want to change.. to become a better person.
but i don't know where to start.... =(

我很抱歉, 我不想傷害你的感情.  
一年過去了,但你好像還沒有原諒我.
我想告訴你,為什麼我不能愛你. 
你說你愛別的女孩. 
老實說,我對你有一見傾心. 
但聽你說，我停下來因為你是我最好的朋友.
然後，沒多久，你說你愛我.. 
在那個時候，為時已晚, 我愛別人.
所以,現在我問你...我能做些什麼？
說實話? 或躺下?


Blessings,
NANA     

REAL social life, please?

What i need now is going out, hanging out with friends. That's what i need. but, i think it is useless. seems like i am invisible to them. I don't know what happened to me these days. I feel like i want to disappear, go away. I keep staying in my room. Truth to be told, i am so lazy to go out with friends right now. Maybe there is no appreciation to me? or is it because my faults and mistakes i did at the past? i don't know. Well, maybe it is because my attitude, but it's too late when i have realized it.

So, i just want to pack up and go away from here, my hometown. I want a fresh start, making new friends and have a new life there.

Maybe i am the type of person that live alone? I just hate the fact that all of my best friends went abroad for my study. It happened since i was small. I just realized it right now. when i was 8, 1 of my best friend went to penang for study. I remember i cried that day. then, when i was 10, TWO of my best friends moved to Jakarta. They gave me their photos and letters. i still kept them till now. when i was graduating from junior high school, my best friend for 3 years moved to JAKARTA , again. then, my closest cousin that i treated like my own sister, went to shanghai for her study. i felt so lonely without her, but then, i can adjust myself. and the last, my best best friend, my classmate too, moved to Australia for her study. =(. i am completely a loner now. i always isolate myself from the others. I don't know why. I used to have a lot of friends, but now... :'(


However, i am grateful for the one that have became my friends. I know i can't be a good friend for you all. I maybe irritating , annoying, and egoist. =(. Please forgive me.

So, i am thankful with the fact that i am going to leave in 2 months time. Hope i can change into a better person there. i will start to communicate and have a social life.

i hate to keep chatting and talking via phone guys. I don't like it really much. It is nicer if we met face to face. =)

seems like last year of senior high school have made me looked old, a lot... T.T. these pictures was taken when i was at the second year of senior high school...


Blessings,
NANA

when we are old...

now, i want to share some experiences i got when i visited the nursing home last week. Well, if you asked me to go there again, i need to consider again. I prefer going to the orphanage than nursing house :(. why? because i couldn't understand what they were going through. The old people! I'm not complaining, but this is the truth. I just don't want to bring sorrow to them, making them to think ," oh this young people, they will never understand what we are going through. They can't understand us!" Sad, isn't it? I want to wait until i have experienced all of this, so that i can understand them, THEN, i will go there to encourage them and comfort them. Honestly, i'm still a little girl, naive, haven't encountered a real difficulty in my life. That's why i like to go to the orphanage more that the nursing home. i understand the kids but it's hard for me to understand the oldies.

but, i'm grateful for this chance. I can pray for them and sing for them. This is what i desire the most! to become a blessing for people. I know i can't do much, but at least i pray for this old people and try to listen to their story.

I started my conversation with an old woman, sitting in front of her room. when i chat with her, she told me that she was one of the tsunami victim in 2006. I was suprised and i sit quietly to hear her story. She lost everything. her husband, her four kids, and her brother. the 7 metre-high wave swept them all. I can't imagine that. She said she would be dead if she didn't pray and ask help from God. Amazingly, she was saved. She cried while she told her story. :(. i wonder what i will be if i was her.

Another woman i prayed for was laying at her bad and she couldn't walk anymore. The sad thing was, she kept saying that she didn't want to live anymore. I asked her why, and she replied, " I don't want to be a burden for anyone.". Again, i was speechless. I didn't know what to do, and what to say. Then i asked if she wanted to be prayed or not, she wanted. So, I prayed and before i went out, i sang a hokkien song for her with ED to entertain her.

Nah, going there actually made me sad because my not being able to understand what they are going through but at least, i have the experience to see what sort of service I must give if we go there. Thus, i know now what should i do and what should i prepare. :)

Please take care of your mom and dad when they are old ,guys... you know that the nursing home isn't better than your lovely home that surrounded by the warmth of your loves. =). We will go through this phase, too.. if we are allowed to live this long...

Blessings,

NANA

Day by Day

Tuing tuing tuing... So sorry for not updating my blog for .. hmm.. almost a week? yeah.. because at first, i'm busy, and then i am lazy to type. =p. So, how's your day guys? Fine? Great? SUPERB?
as you know, i am on holiday for 3 months. Oopss... please don't envy me.. XD. Sometimes it was boring, i admit that, BUT, i tried to keep myself busy these days. I don't want to waste my time doing nothing! =D.

I join yoga class again, and I watch my weight now, yeah, i'm on diet now, but not a HEAVY diet! i just lessen my snack =D. Yoga class on Monday, Wednesday (honestly, i skipped today class) =p, and Friday. Guess what? as usual, pain all over the body because i didn't do yoga for so long and that's the result. =p. yesterday, i jog at my house. My treadmill could not work out, seems like needed to be repaired. No wonder. No one use it. After jogged, i play table tennis with my sista. =D. I won! I won! =D. I'm satisfied because I sweat a lot. ;)



today, i spent my day most at kiekie saloon for my hair treatment. =D. wonderful! I can relax finally and my hair smells so good nowww... hmmmm... the sad thing is i need to pay a lot for the shampoo and conditioner. i have a problem with my hair, you know.. hope it will get better soon! cihuy...





Blessings,
NANA

Don't send me away?!?

Yeeeeeelllloooooo.. GUYS!

How's your day? good? bad? or so-so? XD

anyways, you can see that i'm so energetic today cause

I 

AM

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

okay, enough of that.. xixixi.. my high school days end today, yes, today 21st of April 2011. Can you believe it? It is hard to believe it actually, but yep, this is it. Bye2 school day, and welcome freshman!! i'm looking forward to it. Honestly, i'm a lil bit scared, you know? i don't know if i can adjust myself there and i will be all alone there. No family at all. :(. It will be the time for me to be independent. Hope everything will go well and i trust GOD will be there beside me! ;)

Anyway, some photos here... 

daddy just bought a coffee machine for the new restaurant, so i decided to play with it... XD

messy hair, just got home and sweat a lot, really =.=

going to be sent far far farrrrr away :'(

i think that's all for today.. tomorrow is GOOD FRIDAY and i'm going to the nursing home for old people + i'm going to fast. Hope i will learn more tomorrow about life. 

See ya...

Blessings,

NANA

Just a request :)

A Woman's Pray

Lord,

I pray for a man, that will be a part of my life
A man that really loves You more than everything
A man that lives not for himself but for You
And he must know for whom and for what he lives so his life isn't useless
 
A man that not only loves me but also respect me
A man that not only can adore me but can warn me when I'm wrong
A man that loves me not from my beauty but from my heart
A man that can be my best friend in every time and situation
A man that make me feel like a woman when I am beside him
 
I'm not asking for a perfect man...
But I ask for an imperfect man
A man that need my support for his strength
A man that need my prayer for his life
A man that need my smile to cover his sadness


Give me Your Hands that I always be able to pray for him
Give me Your eyes so I could see many good things in him and not the bad one 
Give me Your mouth that is fulfilled with Your words of wisdom so I could support him every day 
 
And I want that when finally we meet
Both of us can say
How great Thou Art
that You give me someone that can make my life perfect
I know that You want we meet at the right time
And You will make everything beautiful in Your time

Amen. 

Blessings,
NANA 

i am so SCARED

Yes, yes, yes... i just realized that my national exam is in 4 days. Ohmaigoat. I dunno what to do. Haven't studied completely and now, i am so anxious, terrified that i won't pass the tests. :( .
Turned out that i am weak in Chemistry. when i read the question, i can't do it and my brain can't solve this. I feel like this hasn't taught by the teacher. Sad sad sad.

i am SCARED

please pray for me guys, I hope i have the time to learn all this stuff. thanks. :)

Blessings,

NANA

Oldie Nata

so, i'll show you what i looked like during the concert last friday and yesterday, different hair style and make up.. :DD. please dont laugh... :p

nah, the left one is on friday and the right one is on sunday ( i looked older on sunday ). *phew. but lot of people said that my hair style looked better on Sunday =DDD

me with janice.. her kebaya had the same color with me. i just loved the color so much.. aquagreen

this boy didn't really like to take pic =DD, but he wanted.. with weird gesture =p

me with Regina and Angerela

colorful hu? =)

some of them said we looked alike from this view.. what do you think? =DDD

I think that's all.. haha... anyway.. i started to study seriously today since the national exam is coming.. only a week left and there are a lot of things need to be learned and memorized.. geezz... i don't know if i can study these in one week.. Pray for me please.. thanks =)

Blessings,

NANA

Unanswered question

i kept asking this question to myself... and this should be addressed to you.. but no... you won't notice it anyway



"I am there for you whenever you need me, but have you been there for me whenever i need you?"




maybe i should stop asking this anyway.... forget it..

blessings,
NANA

GSAD?

should be glad OR should be sad? yeah, school day is almost over, can be count by finger now, um, 5 days maybe? i put the countdown at my BBM status and that will be the day when the high school is finished. *sigh. honestly i am happy that i can end this quickly but besides that, i feel sad cause i'm going to leave all my best friends. well, what can we say anymore? life must go on. we have our own path and that means we are going to separate to chase our own dreams.I just hope we won't forget each other... :')

my polaroid just arrived yesterday and i'm so excited.. yayyyy.... going to use it sooonn! =DD

trying to use my abandoned DSLR =P

So, tonight, my choir is going to have a collaboration concert with other prominent choirs in Medan. Hope it goes successfully and smoothly! =D . I thought last year is going to be my last concert but nah.. turn out that it isn't. Wish us the besst! ;D

Blessings,

Nana

I believe...

I believe—

that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.  

I believe—

that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.  

I believe—

that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.  

I believe—

that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.  

I believe—

that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.  

I believe—

that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.  

I believe—

that you can keep going long after you can’t.  

I believe—

that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.  

I believe—

that either you control your attitude or it controls you.  

I believe—

that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.  

I believe—

that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.  

I believe—

that money is a lousy way of keeping score.  

I believe—

that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.  

I believe—

that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.  

I believe—

that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.  

I believe—

that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.  

I believe—

that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.  

I believe—

that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.  

I believe—

that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.  

I believe—

that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.  

I believe—

that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.  

I believe—

that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.  

I believe—

that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.  

I believe—

that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.  

I believe—

that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.  

I believe—

that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.  

I believe—

that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

blessings,

Nana

April Fool's Day

Are your tricked? or you tricked someone else? =DD HA!
so, mine..umm... quite boring.. nothing happened.. actually one of my friends tried to trick me, but nehi.. i am too genius and she failed ! HAHA! XDDD lol.
something terrible happened today actually... the FLOOD in Medan. *phew... thanks GOD that my house wasn't flooded.. but some of my relatives' house covered by the water... and when i saw their pictures... ohmaigoat... i can't say anything at all... what can we do.. the rain just can't stop.. in fact, it still raininggg... >.<.

Hope it will stop soon.





blessings,
NANA