REAL social life, please?

What i need now is going out, hanging out with friends. That's what i need. but, i think it is useless. seems like i am invisible to them. I don't know what happened to me these days. I feel like i want to disappear, go away. I keep staying in my room. Truth to be told, i am so lazy to go out with friends right now. Maybe there is no appreciation to me? or is it because my faults and mistakes i did at the past? i don't know. Well, maybe it is because my attitude, but it's too late when i have realized it.

So, i just want to pack up and go away from here, my hometown. I want a fresh start, making new friends and have a new life there.

Maybe i am the type of person that live alone? I just hate the fact that all of my best friends went abroad for my study. It happened since i was small. I just realized it right now. when i was 8, 1 of my best friend went to penang for study. I remember i cried that day. then, when i was 10, TWO of my best friends moved to Jakarta. They gave me their photos and letters. i still kept them till now. when i was graduating from junior high school, my best friend for 3 years moved to JAKARTA , again. then, my closest cousin that i treated like my own sister, went to shanghai for her study. i felt so lonely without her, but then, i can adjust myself. and the last, my best best friend, my classmate too, moved to Australia for her study. =(. i am completely a loner now. i always isolate myself from the others. I don't know why. I used to have a lot of friends, but now... :'(


However, i am grateful for the one that have became my friends. I know i can't be a good friend for you all. I maybe irritating , annoying, and egoist. =(. Please forgive me.

So, i am thankful with the fact that i am going to leave in 2 months time. Hope i can change into a better person there. i will start to communicate and have a social life.

i hate to keep chatting and talking via phone guys. I don't like it really much. It is nicer if we met face to face. =)

seems like last year of senior high school have made me looked old, a lot... T.T. these pictures was taken when i was at the second year of senior high school...


Blessings,
NANA